


Limbo

by xAoneko



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-07-16
Packaged: 2019-04-04 13:55:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14021718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xAoneko/pseuds/xAoneko
Summary: Jongdae finds a purpose in an unfamiliar world with an unfamiliar face.





	1. The Gray World

**Author's Note:**

> This is an Exo fic with Suchen as the main pairing and minor Chanbaek.
> 
> *There are mentions of rape in a few chapters, so if you're sensitive to that stuff, then please proceed with caution or find something else to read. I will be sure to leave a note at the beginning of every chapter that contains anything rated.
> 
> **This story is cross-posted on Asianfanfics under xAoneko

Jongdae dreamed of a gray world.

This wasn’t the first time he dreamed of this place, nor was it the first time he found himself alone. Ever since he started waking up amidst the forest of pines, Jongdae knew he was the only living being there. There were no birds chirping in the trees, no squirrels foraging for nuts on the ground, and no fish swimming in the streams. A dense fog covered the sky, and even though it should have obscured any light filtering down, Jongdae had no problem seeing at all.

He had also long grown accustomed to walking through the forest alone. As far as he knew, the pines never came to an end, and he could walk in a straight line over the course of several nights and still be stuck in the forest.

Waking up from the gray world was something Jongdae liked. First, he would feel as though he was floating, and his body would fade until he could see the trees through his hand. Then, his vision would fade until everything turned black, and when he opened his eyes, Jongdae would be lying in bed, staring up at the white ceiling of his dorm room. It was a peaceful transition from sleep, one that Jongdae liked much more than jolting awake two hours before his alarm rings.

He woke slowly, and the dream followed him, pitching his room into a pool of gray. Jongdae laid on his bed for a few moments, eyes fixed on the numbers of his digital clock as he waited for the color to return to his surroundings. He blinked a few times and pushed himself up, squinting at the time displayed by the red, blaring numbers.

_8:46 am._

Jongdae rolled out of bed and stumbled into the bathroom to freshen up. Halfway through sliding his contact lenses into his eyes, his alarm rang. Jongdae ignored the incessantly loud beeping, choosing to finish up with his lenses before turning off the alarm. There was a dull thud on the other side of his bedroom wall, followed by the sound of someone cursing, as Jongdae left his room and headed to the kitchen to scavenge food from the refrigerator.

He had just pulled out some kimchi as well as the leftovers from a couple nights ago when there were footsteps approaching. Turning around, Jongdae was greeted by the sight of his roommate taking a seat at the table.

“You left your alarm on just to mess with me, didn’t you?” Baekhyun grumbled, running a hand through his messy, brown hair.

Jongdae’s mischievous grin didn’t waver. “Well, you do have class this morning, don’t you?”

“I could have gotten ten more minutes of sleep!” Baekhyun held up two fingers in front of his face, holding them about a centimeter apart, “Every little bit counts when you’re suffering in your last year of college!”

“You slept all weekend!” Jongdae reminded the other. “Waking up ten minutes early for one day isn’t going to kill you.”

“Jerk,” Baekhyun mumbled without venom, “What’s for breakfast?”

“Leftovers,” Jongdae said as he divided the food into two portions and heated one portion in the microwave. “How is your internship going?”

“It’s going great,” Baekhyun picked up a pair of chopsticks and picked at the kimchi, stuffing some of the fermented cabbage in his mouth. “They say they want to keep me around even after I graduate, so I will have a full-time job as soon as I finish college.”

“Are you serious?” The microwave beeped, and Jongdae took out the first plate of food, setting it in front of Baekhyun before heating up the second portion. “Fresh out of college, and you’ve already got your dream job! Who did you promise your firstborn to?”

Baekhyun snorted at the joke and made a series of mumbling sounds, unable to pronounce his words clearly due to the mouthful of food that he was chewing on, but Jongdae could see the smile resting on his best friend’s lips. The microwave sounded again, and Jongdae pulled the second platter out, sitting down across from Baekhyun and beginning to eat.

“Have you gotten an idea for your graduation project yet?” Baekhyun asked as he scooped the remaining bits of rice into his mouth.

“Nope,” Jongdae sighed, picking at the kimchi, “I had another dream last night though. Remember that dream I had last week of the gray forest?”

Baekhyun made a face. “No…? Oh, wait, I think I do. That lucid dream you had of you walking through a big forest?”

“Yeah, that,” Jongdae confirmed, “I dreamed the gray forest last night again. It was a lucid dream, like the one last week.”

“Just draw your recurring lucid dreams for your graduation project,” Baekhyun half-joked, getting up from his seat to wash his plate, “Make up some bullshit about the meaning behind the drawing.”

“I can’t do that!” Jongdae whined, taking another bite of kimchi.

Baekhyun snickered. “Well, you only have four more months. Better come up with something!” he teased the art major. Placing his plate noisily in the dish rack, the film student hurried to his room and grabbed his backpack and camera. “I’m going to head to class now. See you in the evening!”

“See you,” Jongdae replied just as the door slammed shut. Finishing off his breakfast, he washed his dishes and headed back to his room, sitting down in front of his laptop. The device had stayed on the entire night, and when Jongdae moved the mouse, the sunflower screensaver flickered back to the drawing program he had been using last night.

Jongdae picked up his drawing tablet and stared at the incomprehensible series of lines that he made last night. Touching the surface of the tablet with his pen, the artist scribbled aimlessly on the messy canvas, trying to drag an idea for his graduation project from the intersecting marks in front of him. Unfortunately, nothing was coming to mind, and after an hour of struggling with himself, Jongdae packed his bags with his drawing materials, put on his shoes, grabbed his keys and phone, and left the dorm.

His first class of the day didn’t start until early afternoon, so Jongdae spent the morning walking around Seoul, trying to find a muse for his graduation project. He considered the two squirrels who were chasing each other around a tree, but he had already drawn that for a past assignment. He visited a café and bought a latte, and as he observed the layer of foamy milk, he briefly thought about drawing the drink. However, that idea flew away as quickly as came, once again leaving Jongdae without any plans for his graduation project.

In the end, Jongdae sat down at a table outside of the café and started to draw the street. He sketched the layout from the view of a person standing in the middle of the road and looking straight down to the tall building that stood at the end, but halfway through adding details, he sighed and put his pencil down. The street no longer looked appealing.

The rest of the morning was spent with Jongdae sketching various flowers and animals that came to his mind. By the time noon rolled around, Jongdae had added three pages of drawings to his sketchbook. He closed the sketchbook, stuffing it and his pencil back into his bag, and swung the bag over his shoulder. On his way to class, Jongdae bought a sandwich and a bottle of soda from a convenience store on campus. There was no class before his, so Jongdae took a seat in the empty classroom and began to eat while doing more sketches.

As he’s taking bites out of his sandwich, Jongdae’s mind strays back to the gray world in his dreams. He thought about the silent forest, the unmoving trees, and the stream of water that he had come across last time.

Standing abruptly and startling the few students who had arrived in the classroom a few minutes ago, Jongdae threw out his sandwich wrapper. Then, he returned to his seat and picked up his pencil again, this time picturing the gray world in his head and as he outlined the trees and the ground.

To his dismay, the professor arrived shortly after, and Jongdae had no choice but to put his sketch away. For the next two hours, he reluctantly listened and jotted down notes in his notebook as the professor spoke of the role art played in cultures around the world.

Jongdae’s mind constantly wandered back to the incomplete drawing in his bag, and he didn’t realize when he started doodling pine trees on the borders of his notebook paper. However, the loud _smack_ of the professor’s ruler hitting his desk made him flinch.

“I would appreciate it if you listened while I lectured, Kim Jongdae,” the professor said sternly. Embarrassed that he had been caught, Jongdae nodded meekly, and the professor went back to the front of the room.

Jongdae looked down at his notebook, noting how much of the lecture he had missed while sketching trees. The professor didn’t post any lecture notes online either, so Jongdae knew he was going to have to ask one of his classmates for the things that he missed.

Thankfully, he was acquainted with a few people in the class, and they were happy to lend him their notes for a moment so he could snap a photo with his phone to copy later. Jongdae thanked them when he was done, grabbed his bag, and dashed to his next class.

He was glad that the professor for Independent Study was so lenient and allowed the class to do whatever they wanted as long as they were studying art techniques. Jongdae immediately saw that class as an opportunity to continue his sketch of the forest. Pulling out his sketchbook and his pencil, Jongdae was already drawing when his seatmate arrived. They chatted together as they drew, Jongdae carefully shading in the trees with several green colored pencils that he had found in the room as his roommate practiced painting techniques.

When the end of class came around, Jongdae was putting the finishing touches on his drawing. The pines were fully green with lighter shades at the top and darker shades at the bottom. The earth was mostly brown with splashes of green, gray, and blue from the undergrowth and the stream that littered the ground.

Satisfied with his work, Jongdae quickly returned the colored pencils to where he found them and packed his bag, hurrying out the door with a hasty bow to the professor. It was only five-thirty in the evening, but the sun was already setting, so Jongdae quickened his pace into a jog and joined the crowd of students who had just gotten out of class and were on their way to the dorms.

By the time he got back to his dorm, the moon had replaced the sun in the sky. The lights in his dorm were on, signaling that Baekhyun was already back. Jongdae prayed that his best friend had gotten something good for dinner since he was starving. The art student unlocked the door and opened it. He was greeted by the sight of two bowls of jjajangmyeon with a box of green beans and fried chicken next to them. There was a rhythmic thumping of footsteps, and Baekhyun appeared in a ragged Harry Potter shirt and gray sweatpants.

“Finally!” The film major exclaimed, “I was beginning to think I was going to starve before you got back!”

After Jongdae placed his bag in his room, the two of them sat down at the dining table, eagerly shaking their jjajangmyeon bowls and tearing off the plastic cover when the contents were mixed. They ate messily, fighting each other over the pieces of chicken and laughing at the sauce that stained their chins.

It wasn’t long before they finished the food, and Jongdae briefly worried over what they would do for breakfast. With a proud smile, Baekhyun went to the fridge and pulled out a Tupperware filled with pastries, holding it high above his head like a trophy.

“Chanyeol made these for us,” Baekhyun said happily, “He knows we can’t cook to save our lives, so he baked enough to last the week.”

Jongdae couldn’t argue with that. Park Chanyeol, a music student and Baekhyun’s boyfriend, was indeed good at cooking. Baekhyun even had trouble with boiling water, so it was immediately agreed upon that Chanyeol would be the cook in the relationship, and Jongdae was the freeloader who got to eat Chanyeol’s food because he was Baekhyun’s best friend.

They washed the dishes together and then parted ways into their separate rooms. Jongdae closed his door and settled down in front of his laptop, picking up his drawing tablet and taking his sketchbook out of his bag. He flipped it open to an outline of a person that he had finished a few days ago and began copying it onto a blank canvas on his laptop. Taking his time, Jongdae carefully drew the face, followed by the head and shoulders. He lightly marked the hair, eyes, nose, and mouth, redrawing the mouth several times to get the poutiness to show.

At this point, Jongdae took a quick shower, flexing his stiff fingers under the steady stream of warm water. Once he was out, he took up his position in front of his laptop again and continued to draw, adding basic coloring and minor details that he had missed in the outline of the drawing.

When he was finally done, Baekhyun’s face stared back at him from the screen. The film major wore a neutral expression, one that Jongdae always saw when his friend was deep in thought. Baekhyun’s hair was a deep shade of purple, the same color it had been when Jongdae met him in middle school.

Jongdae smiled at his work and decided to start adding shadow. Halfway through Baekhyun’s hair, Jongdae heard the footsteps moving down the hall as the person he was drawing got ready for bed. There was the sound of water running, then Baekhyun shouting ‘good night’ from the hall. Jongdae replied absentmindedly as he saved his work and turned off his laptop, thinking that he should be heading to bed as well.

As he laid beneath his covers with his eyes closed, Jongdae heaved a deep sigh, willing his mind to focus on breathing evenly. After what felt like hours of not falling asleep, Jongdae sighed again and rolled over onto his side. He opened his eyes and was greeted by gray. Sitting up slowly, Jongdae looked around at the silent forest that was once again greeting him in his sleep.


	2. Junmyeon

Jongdae picked himself up off the ground, brushing dirt off his clothes as he looked around at the still trees. Just like the previous two times he had been here, there wasn’t much more to do besides walk, so Jongdae did just that. He took his time walking through the forest. His feet were bare, yet he didn’t feel anything when he stepped on the sharp end of a twig. The sound of the twig snapping contrasted with the silence that blanketed the area like a needle being pushed through a thin layer of cloth.

He kept walking, listening to the soft crunches and scuffles of twigs and pebbles beneath his feet. Jongdae moved in a straight line, only changing direction when he came across a flowing river that was too wide to jump across. He followed the riverbank, heading upstream as he observed his gray surroundings.

Jongdae had just begun to wonder if he would spend the rest of his life dreaming of this place when he saw a silhouette ahead. The art student squinted at the sight, and his heart leapt in his chest when he realized that there was another person standing by the riverbank, gazing into the clear, colorless water.

The man was about Jongdae’s height, although his frame seemed broader and sturdier. A light-gray overcoat hung from the stranger’s shoulders, and short but straight hair covered his side profile. Jongdae quickened his pace, taking care to avoid the branches in his path.

“Hey! Excuse me!” he called, waving his hand in the air to make sure that he would be noticed.

The stranger whipped around as though startled, and Jongdae momentarily stalled at the hard stare he received. He didn’t stop, but his steps slowed, and his demeanor became cautious as he approached the person.

“Who are you?” The stranger asked when Jongdae was a few feet away. Again, Jongdae was taken aback by the cold and clipped tone, but he tried not to let it show. Instead, the art student plastered a small, tentative smile on his face in hopes of softening the other’s attitude.

“I’m Jongdae,” he introduced himself, faltering when the stranger’s unimpressed expression didn’t change, “I, uh…”

This was awkward. Jongdae had no idea what he should say next. Would the stranger think he was weird if Jongdae said that this was his dream? In the end, Jongdae decided that the other probably already thought he was eccentric judging by the way the man was looking at him. But then again, this was a dream, so nothing here is real…

The stranger made an impatient noise in the back of his throat, bringing Jongdae out of his thoughts. “Either way, you’re not supposed to be here. You’re not dead,” the person pointed out. With that, the man turned on his heels and walked away.

For a second, Jongdae didn’t respond, confused by the stranger’s words. Then, he snapped into action and chased after the stranger, who was moving at a fast pace despite his overcoat being caught on various branches that littered the forest floor.

“Wait!” the art student called, “What do you mean, I shouldn’t be here?” He stumbled over a root that was sticking out from the ground in his haste. “This is _my_ dream, you know? Hey!”

Jongdae’s efforts proved to be futile because the stranger slipped through the trees and disappeared from view. Then, his body felt light, his vision faded to black, and the next thing Jongdae knew, he was sitting upright in bed with one arm stretched out as though trying to reach somebody.

Still baffled by what just transpired, Jongdae stayed in that position for several minutes, arm still outstretched, before he leapt off the mattress and hurried out of his room. He practically sprinted down the hall, barging into Baekhyun’s room like a madman and proceeded to shake the sleeping man without even bothering to turn on the lights.

“Baekhyun, wake up! Baek!”

With an exasperated groan, the film student opened his eyes, squinting at Jongdae in the darkness. “Jongdae? What the…?” Baekhyun turned his head to the side, and his mouth folded into a scowl. “Kim Jongdae, it is three-thirty in the fucking morning! What the hell is your problem?” He pushed himself up onto his elbows and glared sleepily at the other.

“It’s my dreams. I dreamed of the gray forest again tonight,” Jongdae explained quickly, but then Baekhyun interrupted him, obviously still annoyed.

“This couldn’t wait until breakfast? You’ve dreamed of the forest a couple times already!”

“This time is different!” Jongdae defended, “There was another person in the forest with me!”

Still squinting, Baekhyun stared at him for a few seconds before saying, “What?”

“There was another per–” Jongdae started repeating what he said, but Baekhyun waved his hand dismissively.

“I know that! Why was there another person in your dream? Who was it?”

Jongdae shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve never seen him before while I was awake. He talked to me, too, but he said I don’t belong there.”

Baekhyun wrinkled his nose. “But…it’s your dream though?”

“Exactly!” Jongdae exclaimed, “How do I not belong in my own dream?”

“Man, I don’t know,” Baekhyun yawned and laid back down, pulling his blanket up to his chin, “Let’s talk about this in the morning. I need to sleep. Good night.”

Jongdae reluctantly bid his roommate good night and headed back to his own bed. He tried to calm himself so he could fall asleep again, but the stranger from his dream kept invading his thoughts. _You’re not dead._ What was that supposed to mean?

The art student sighed. This was one of the strangest dreams that he had ever had. At this rate, it was going to keep him up all night, but somehow, Jongdae found himself blinking awake when his alarm rang three and a half hours later. His eyes felt heavy, and his throat was dry, but Jongdae pushed himself out of bed and into the bathroom.

He felt a lot better when he came out. A rustling sound from the kitchen told him that Baekhyun was already up, so Jongdae changed out of his pajamas and went to join his roommate.

Baekhyun was digging through the pastries that Chanyeol had made when Jongdae arrived. Without even looking up, the film major began rattling off some of the treats that were Tupperware.

“We’ve got a slice of cheesecake, four chocolate fudge brownies, a mini red velvet cake…” Baekhyun paused to lift the small cake out of the Tupperware with an adoring smile, and Jongdae had to agree with the other: the cake was very cute. “…and two egg tarts. Which one do you want?”

“Uh,” Jongdae tapped his chin thoughtfully, “I’ll try the cheesecake.”

Baekhyun took the cheesecake from the Tupperware and placed it on one of the plates that were laid out next to him. He pushed it towards Jongdae, who took it and sat down. The art major placed a spoonful of the white cake into his mouth and chewed happily, savoring the flavor of cream cheese. “This is really good.”

“Let me try.” Baekhyun leaned forward with his mouth open, waiting for Jongdae to feed him. The latter obediently held a spoonful of cake in front of his roommate’s mouth, but then withdrew his hand and ate the cake himself, laughing at Baekhyun’s betrayed expression.

His roommate scowled before snatching the spoon out of Jongdae’s hand and feeding himself a bite of cake. The indignant look on his face morphed into a look of surprise. “Woah, this really is good.” The film major took another bite out of the pastry and handed the spoon back to Jongdae, who was now frowning because there was only half of the slice left.

He whined at Baekhyun, but his roommate merely stuck his cake-covered tongue out at him. Unwilling to admit defeat, Jongdae stole a large spoonful of the red velvet cake that Baekhyun was eating for breakfast. This eventually led to a war between the two as they both tried to take the other’s cake while defending their own. They only stopped once the cakes were gone, and to their horror, they were running short on time.

The two of them ran to class. Jongdae barely arrived on time, entering the classroom at the same time as the professor. He sat at his desk, panting through the first five minutes of class as he tried to catch his breath. Luckily, they weren’t doing much that day since they were already ahead in the curriculum, so the professor told them to do self-study. Jongdae pulled out his sketchbook and flipped through it, looking for a clean page.

Upon seeing the drawing of the coniferous forest he had done the day before, Jongdae remembered the stranger from his dream. Turning the page once more, Jongdae picked up his pencil and began lightly sketching.

He could remember the details almost perfectly. The thick eyebrows were angled slightly in displeasure, dark-brown eyes held an unwelcoming stare, and small mouth was bent in a frown. Jongdae made sure to sketch it so that the bottom lip was thicker than the top, and the man’s bangs were swept up, revealing a smooth forehead.

“Who is that?” Jongdae had been so focused on the stranger’s face that he failed to notice his professor walking among the students, observing their work.

“Oh, um,” Jongdae stammered, still caught off guard, “He’s…I don’t know.” As soon as the words left his mouth, Jongdae realized how strange it would seem for him to be drawing someone he had only seen once.

Sure enough, his professor raised a thin eyebrow. “A stranger?”

It was at this moment that Jongdae wished he had better brain-to-mouth filter. “I…yeah…I mean, we’ve, uh…we’ve spoken once before, so he’s not a complete stranger.” He pressed his lips together, willing himself to stop talking before he made it more awkward than it already was.

“Huh.” His professor hummed shortly and moved on, seemingly having accepted Jongdae’s explanation. Once he was sure he was out of his professor’s sight, Jongdae covered his face in embarrassment. He was certain that the pair of girls behind him were laughing at his flustered answer, but the art student decided to shake off his small blunder and continue working on his sketch.

Unfortunately, he could no longer focus on the drawing because his embarrassment refused to fade. Jongdae had never been happier that class ended when it did. On his way to his next class, Jongdae sent Baekhyun a text about the incident, and though the latter didn’t respond, Jongdae knew that he was laughing over Jongdae’s predicament.

For the rest of the day, Jongdae refused to look at the sketch of the stranger, choosing to doodle random little things that he saw whenever he looked out of the classroom window. However, he found himself growing more and more nervous as nighttime drew closer, anticipating and dreading the next time he dreamed of the gray world. Would the stranger be there again, or would Jongdae be left to walk through the trees alone?

His unease must have been rather obvious because Baekhyun asked him if something happened as they ate dinner together.

“It’s just…” Jongdae hesitated as he continued to push some kimchi around on his plate, “I’m nervous about dreaming tonight.”

“Ah.” Baekhyun nodded in understanding. “It’s the stranger, isn’t it? Mr. You-Don’t-Belong-Here?”

Jongdae nodded slowly. “He actually said something else to me last night.”

Baekhyun didn’t say anything, but he leaned forward, eyes fixed intently on Jongdae, silently telling the latter to continue.

“So he said that I didn’t belong there, right?” Jongdae looked at Baekhyun, who nodded. “Well, then he told me that I wasn’t dead. What in the world is that supposed to mean?”

Baekhyun paused in his chewing for a moment, staring at Jongdae with a shocked look on his face. Then, he shook his head, “Wow, Jongdae-yah, you have some really weird dreams.”

“Tell me about it,” Jongdae grumbled, stuffing a piece of chicken in his mouth and chomping down on it furiously.

Baekhyun hummed thoughtfully. “The way he said it makes it seem as though only the dead are supposed to be in that gray forest. But why?”

Jongdae didn’t reply, but he agreed with Baekhyun. The whole thing was rather strange, even for a dream. He figured that he could just ask the stranger, but he didn’t know if he would find the man again.

“Well, if you see him in your dreams again tonight, you can always ask him!” Baekhyun suggested, taking Jongdae’s thoughts right out of his head.

“He kind of brushed me off last night though,” Jongdae admitted.

“Tell him I’ll barge into your dream and kick his ass if he does it again.” Baekhyun raised his hands and made a few punching motions, only to hit his hand on the edge of the table with a loud thud. He let out a yelp and cradled his hand as Jongdae nearly fell out of his chair in a fit of laughter.

In the end, Baekhyun didn’t have to find a way to appear in Jongdae’s dream. Jongdae was walking through the trees, trying to formulate a way to properly confront the stranger, when he saw the very man he was looking for ambling ahead of him.

As Jongdae quickened his pace to catch up, he feared that the other would just walk off, but to his surprise, the man actually stopped and waited for him, albeit with a rather displeased scowl on his face.

“You’re back.” The sentence was short, and the tone was curt, but Jongdae wasn’t going to back down.

“Last time we spoke,” Jongdae panted, “what did you mean when you said that I don’t belong here?”

“Only the dead people come here,” the man replied, and he looked Jongdae up and down, “You are obviously not dead. Therefore, you don’t belong in Limbo.”

“Limbo?” Jongdae repeated incredulously, “Is that what this place is called, uh…?” He trailed off, hoping that the man would tell him his name.

The stranger seemed to consider it for a moment before finally replying, “Junmyeon. And yes, this place is called Limbo. It is the Land of the Dead.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: A new chapter bringing Junmyeon into the picture :D And he doesn't sound very welcoming...
> 
> At least Jongdae is stubborn ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> 'Til next chapter!


	3. Land of the Dead

_Limbo, huh._

Jongdae chewed on his bottom lip incessantly as he stood in line at the café, waiting to order his lunch. The mother and child in front of him were taking their time, but Jongdae wasn’t complaining. It gave him time to mull over his latest dream.

_Limbo, the Land of the Dead._

Unfortunately, Jongdae had woken up before he could get Junmyeon to elaborate. He wanted to talk to Baekhyun about it, but his best friend had already left for class, leaving Jongdae to stew in the new information alone. It distracted him throughout the entirety of his morning class, but luckily, the professor gave them the class period to prepare their graduation project, which Jongdae was still clueless about.

“May I help you?”

Jongdae jumped slightly when the cashier raised her voice slightly. He looked up to see that the mother and child were gone. The cashier was watching him with an amused look, and Jongdae couldn’t help the sheepish grin that settled on his mouth as he walked up to the counter.

Once he had ordered, he forced himself to pay attention as another worker called out the orders, picking up the kimchi fried rice he had bought after about ten minutes of waiting. He picked out a seat by the window for himself and slid into the booth, opening the box of rice and digging in with fervor. He pulled out his phone as he ate, opened a new tab, and entered ‘Limbo’ into the search box.

Several results popped up. Jongdae clicked on the first link, which took him to a new webpage. He read the first sentence out loud to himself, “’Limbo is a place for people who die in original sin without being assigned to Hell.’ Why does this have to sound so complicated? What’s ‘original sin?’” He took another bite of his lunch and went back to the search results page.

The next result was a video game. Jongdae ignored it, as well as any other result that classified as a game of some kind. Other searches yielded similar definitions to the one he first read, and none of them were able to clear up his confusion over Limbo. Disappointed, Jongdae finished off his kimchi fried rice and checked the time on his phone.

“Oh, shit!” He grabbed his backpack and slung it over his shoulder, picking up the empty lunch box and pocketing his phone. He tossed the box in the garbage can and dashed out of the café, praying that he would be able to make it to his next class in less than seven minutes.

By the time his last class finished, Jongdae couldn’t wait to dream again. The curiosity of not knowing was eating away at him, and he was no longer afraid to talk to Junmyeon despite the latter’s off-putting attitude.

Baekhyun was waiting for him with dinner again, but the film student also looked exhausted. He greeted Jongdae with a tired smile when the latter walked into the dorm. “There’s ttoekbokki and chicken on the table. The kimchi’s in the fridge,” he finished off with a huge yawn.

“Long day at your internship?” Jongdae called as he kicked off his shoes and dropped his bag in his room. Baekhyun mumbled a response from his place on the sofa.

Jongdae washed his hands, a plate, and a pair of chopsticks for himself. He sat down and was about to eat when he noticed that Baekhyun wasn’t getting up. “Aren’t you going to eat?”

“Tired,” the other mumbled. Jongdae wordlessly scooped a few rice cakes and pieces of chicken onto his plate and made his way over to where Baekhyun sat. He speared a piece of chicken on one chopstick and held it up to Baekhyun.

“Eat something, and then, go to bed,” Jongdae coaxed. He knew just how draining Baekhyun’s internship was, and at times like these, he didn’t mind taking care of his roommate for a little.

Baekhyun obediently opened his mouth and ate the chicken that Jongdae offered. He sat up a little, chewing on the piece of meat, and took the plate from Jongdae, shoveling the rest of the food into his mouth like a starved man.

“Thanks, ‘Dae.” Bits of food flew out of Baekhyun’s mouth, and Jongdae leaned away with a disgusted look. Baekhyun had enough decency to cover his mouth afterward. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Jongdae took the plate and chopsticks back and returned to his seat at the dining table. “Just clean it up tomorrow or something.”

Baekhyun nodded and stood up, stretching his arms above his head. “Did you dream last night?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, I did.” Jongdae had briefly forgotten about his dream when he saw his best friend nearly passed out on the sofa. “Oh! The stranger who appeared in my dream, he said his name is Junmyeon!”

Baekhyun was wide awake now. “Junmyeon?”

Jongdae nodded. “He also told me that the gray world is apparently called Limbo.”

“Wait, wait, wait.” Baekhyun slid into the chair next to Jongdae and leaned in close, lowering his voice as he did so. “Is he religious?”

“What? I don’t know.” Jongdae pushed Baekhyun away, and the film student plopped back onto his chair. “He also said that I don’t belong in Limbo because I’m not dead.”

Baekhyun leaned in again, this time fixing his gaze intently on Jongdae’s face. “Are you sure about that?”

“Are you being serious right now, Baek?”

The other smirked slyly. “Well, what if you’re a ghost and you just don’t know it?” Judging by the laughter that followed, Jongdae knew that Baekhyun was just playing around. He felt both annoyed and amused, annoyed that Baekhyun wasn’t taking this seriously and amused by the other’s antics.

Several hours later, Jongdae found himself lying on his bed, trying to fall asleep. He closed his eyes and evened his breathing. Inhale. Exhale.

The floorboards creaked as the night settled in. Jongdae ignored the sound as well as he could, focusing on the rise and fall of his chest.

Inhale. Exhale.

A light breeze blew. The oak tree outside Jongdae’s dorm window swayed lightly in the wind, its branches casting shadows across Jongdae’s eyelids.

Inhale. Exhale.

“What are you doing?” A familiar voice suddenly asked, and Jongdae knew that he was dreaming again.

He opened his eyes to see Junmyeon standing over him with his hands in his pockets and a disapproving frown on his face. Jongdae smiled at the sight and pushed himself off the ground, dusting off his clothes as he faced Junmyeon. “Hi.”

Junmyeon eyed him strangely. “You’re still not dead.”

Jongdae laughed awkwardly. He was still uncomfortable with that topic, but he didn’t want to start an argument or anything with Junmyeon. Instead, he decided to play it off as a joke. “Nope, not dead yet.”

Junmyeon didn’t even smile. “Why are you back?”

 _I don’t know; I’ve been dreaming of this place for a while now._ “Uh, I want to know more about this place. About Limbo.” Jongdae stepped forward, closing the distance between them a little. Junmyeon’s response was the step backward, once again putting several feet between himself and Jongdae.

Jongdae noticed and stopped, figuring that Junmyeon was still wary of him. He waited patiently for Junmyeon to respond, hoping that the other wouldn’t turn away.

Luckily for him, Junmyeon shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “If I answer your questions, will you leave?”

Jongdae knew he couldn’t promise that he would stop coming, but he really needed answers to his questions. “I’ll leave.”

His response seemed to satisfy Junmyeon, who leaned against a nearby tree. “What do you want to know?”

Jongdae thought it over for a moment, trying to rally all of his questions. “What exactly is Limbo? I know you said it’s the Land of the Dead, but…” He floundered for a moment, struggling to find the right words. “Where is it in relation to South Korea? Where did Limbo come from? What is it like to be here?”

Junmyeon nodded slowly, processing all of Jongdae’s questions. “I can’t say where Limbo came from; I don’t know, either. As far as I know, this place exists in a separate space from South Korea. It’s a world where everything’s gray, and there is no end. I’m guessing this world is spherical like the land of the living.”

“So, if I walked continuously in a straight line, I would eventually end up back here?”

Junmyeon shrugged. “Probably. I never tested it though. I just walk around aimlessly.”

“Do you see other people here?” Jongdae glanced around as though expecting to see people approaching them.

“No, each soul in Limbo has their own space.” Junmyeon interlaced his fingers together. “It’s like there are several smaller spaces inside one big space. The big space is Limbo, and the smaller spaces are dimensions that each belong to one soul. The smaller spaces never cross into each other. Most souls never see another person.”

“How did you figure all of this stuff out?”

“It’s normally not possible to cross into someone else’s dimension, but there is one way,” Junmyeon said slowly, “When another soul enters Limbo from the world of the living, it causes a disruption of some sort. Portals open and lead to random dimensions, and I was curious, so I went through one and found myself in a desert. The person in that dimension had apparently figured lots of things out, and he was happy to share them with me.”

“Did he figure it out by himself?”

“I didn’t ask, but I assume he did,” Junmyeon admitted, “Kyungsoo is a very smart person. It’s a shame that he’s here and not in the world of the living.”

 _Kyungsoo._ Jongdae noted down the name in the back of his head before refocusing on the conversation. “Is it okay if I ask…how did you die?”

There was a long pause, and Jongdae saw Junmyeon squeeze his hands together so hard that the knuckles and tips of his fingers turned white. Feeling that he had gone too far, Jongdae opened his mouth to retract his question.

“I was murdered.”

Jongdae snapped his mouth shut so fast that he heard his teeth clacking together. He was not sure what he had expected, but Junmyeon’s answer still shocked him. He wasn’t sure what to say in response to that, and Junmyeon wasn’t looking at him.

“I-I’m sorry…”

“Don’t.” Junmyeon’s response was sharp. “Don’t try to apologize when you aren’t the one who killed me.”

A tense silence settled between them. Junmyeon still hadn’t looked up, and Jongdae dropped his gaze to the forest floor, not knowing how he should respond. The art student wracked his brain for anything, anything that would be even remotely appropriate to say, but in the end, he came up with nothing and instead, plucked a twig off the ground and began scratching at the ground with it, absentmindedly drawing in the dirt.

He almost jumped when Junmyeon spoke a few moments later. “You’re an art student?”

Jongdae looked up from his sketch of a flying swan to see that Junmyeon had started watching him at some point. “Yeah, I go to K Arts.”

Junmyeon nodded gently at Jongdae’s answer, and the art student took the opportunity to ask Junmyeon about his life. “What did you study in school?”

“Music.” Junmyeon lowered himself to the ground, having grown tired of his standing position and deciding to sit on a tree root that protruded from the ground. Jongdae copied the motion, being careful to maintain his distance from the other. “I wanted to write songs.”

“One of my friends is a music major. His name is Chanyeol, and he wants to perform for people.” Jongdae smiled at the thought of the clumsy, red-haired man who always seemed to have a guitar strapped to his back.

“What instruments does he play?”

“Guitar, mostly, but he can also play the drums and keyboard. He does a bit of songwriting, too, and he plays them for his boyfriend.”

There was an unreadable look on Junmyeon’s face. “I see.”

In an effort to keep the conversation going, Jongdae asked, “Did you play any instruments?”

“No. I only sang.”

“Well…” The corners of Jongdae’s mouth curled up slightly. “The voice is technically an instrument, so you can say you play an instrument.”

Junmyeon’s response to that was a raised eyebrow. However, Jongdae would not let it deter him and continued talking.

“What did your parents think of you becoming a songwriter? Did they support you?”

“Yes, they were my strongest supporters. It was actually my mom who told me I should write songs when she saw how much I loved music,” Junmyeon explained.

“Which school did you go to?”

“Seoul National University.”

Jongdae had applied to that school alongside K Arts and had gotten accepted, but he chose not to attend. “I heard that that school has a really rigorous curriculum. Is it true?”

“It was only rigorous if you procrastinated. As long as you kept up well, the assignments weren’t so bad.”

Their conversation stuck to school for the rest of the night with occasional deviations to family and friends. Jongdae did most of the asking, while Junmyeon replied in accord. There were some questions that Junmyeon offered rather vague answers to, but Jongdae didn’t press it since the two of them were still practically strangers.

There was a lull in their talk when Jongdae began to feel light. He realized he was waking up and quickly turned to tell Junmyeon, but the latter was already looking at him with a surprised expression.

“I’m waking up,” Jongdae said.

“What?” Junmyeon could only say that much before Jongdae’s vision turned black and the art student found himself blinking at the ceiling of his dorm room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, update! Junmyeon and Jongdae have their first proper conversation :D


	4. Restless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains mentions of sexual assault!

“Kim Jongdae?”

Jongdae looked up from his phone to see the barista holding a caramel macchiato. He stood from his seat and went to claim his drink, smiling and thanking the barista.

“Have a nice day.” She smiled and returned to her place behind the counter to fix more drinks. Jongdae used his straw to stir his caramel macchiato, trying to mix the caramel with the coffee, before taking a sip and licking his lips at the bittersweet taste that flooded his mouth.

“Hyung?”

The art student turned. “Jongin!”

Kim Jongin was a dance major at K Arts and was two years younger than Jongdae. He was tall with tanned skin and black hair that covered his forehead. A wide smile rested on his face as he greeted Jongdae enthusiastically.

Something nuzzled Jongdae’s ankle, and he looked down to see a poodle sniffing at his shoe. Another poodle that looked almost identical sat at Jongin’s feet, and Jongdae couldn’t help but coo a little.

“Where’s Jjangah?” Jongdae asked as he crouched down to pet the poodle next to him. He checked the bone-shaped tag that was dangling from the dog’s neck. _Monggu_ , the tag read.

“My sister took her to the vet. Jjangah hasn’t been eating much these days,” Jongin explained, tugging on Jjangu’s leash when the poodle started wandering away. “I haven’t seen you around recently, hyung. How are you?”

The two of them ended up chatting for a while, catching up with each other as Monggu and Jjangu circled them, frequently tangling themselves around Jongdae’s legs, Jongin’s legs, or both. Jongin talked about a dance competition that he was considering, and Jongdae admitted that he was still struggling with his graduation project.

It was because of his project that Jongdae decided to cut the conversation short. Jongin was disappointed, but he bid his goodbyes and walked up the counter to order his drink. Jongdae left the café and headed back to his dorm, settling at his desk and flipping open his laptop the moment he arrived. He double-clicked on the icon of the drawing program and connected his drawing tablet to the computer as he waited for the canvas to pop up. Once everything was ready, Jongdae tapped his chin with his pen, trying to think of ideas for his project.

Thirty minutes later, Jongdae erased a line on the canvas for what felt like the sixty-seventh time, exhaling loudly in an effort to calm the frustration coursing through his veins. He still didn’t have any ideas for his graduation project and had decided to try drawing until something caught his fancy. He started out with flowers, thinking that he might have an easier time with those since he hadn’t drawn one for a school project yet. Unfortunately, the task was proving to be more troublesome than he anticipated, and by now, he was swiping his pen across his drawing tablet with an impatient fervor.

He started when a hand clamped down on his shoulder, and Jongdae whipped his head around to see Baekhyun standing over him. Strangely, the film student didn’t make fun of Jongdae for being startled. Instead, he held out a file, and a confused Jongdae took it hesitantly.

“I was bored yesterday, so I, uh…” Baekhyun scratched his head uneasily. “I looked up Junmyeon on the Internet. I-I think you should read this. Just as a heads-up: you might not like what you see.”

The film student awkwardly shuffled out the door, and Jongdae stared after him until the other closed the door. A few moments later, there was the sound of the front door closing, and Jongdae knew that Baekhyun had left the dorm.

Still confused but also a little nervous, Jongdae flipped open the folder to see a pile of printed online articles. His eyes were immediately drawn to the bolded headlines, but his attention was focused on one big, black word that was at the end.

**_Rape._ **

His mouth had suddenly gone dry, so Jongdae reached for the cup of water that was placed beside his laptop. He drank half of it in one gulp and braced himself for what he would find in the article.

“’On March 4th, 1991, two bodies were found in a house in Damyang,’” he read to himself, “’An autopsy revealed that both individuals underwent rigor mortis and that the time of death took place approximately a week before discovery. One man was identified as twenty-three-year-old Kim Junmyeon of Seoul National University.’ Oh, my God,” Jongdae breathed out as he recognized Junmyeon’s university. He put the article down and massaged his temples, heaving a sigh as he struggled to take in what he just read.

After a few seconds, the art student picked up the article again and continued reading. “’While the other man’s cause of death was determined to be a slit throat, Kim Junmyeon suffered signs of extensive torture and rape.’”

It was only then that Jongdae noticed the photos that were posted with the article. He felt like someone had punched him in the stomach when he saw Junmyeon smiling up at him from the paper. The photo must have been for college because Junmyeon looked impeccably well-dressed, complete with the school uniform and groomed hair.

Next to Junmyeon’s photo was another picture of a man Jongdae had never seen before, but he didn’t need to know the stranger in order to figure out that the person was Junmyeon’s assaulter. Once again, Jongdae put the article down, this time taking deep breaths to settle the anger and unease bubbling in his stomach. He hadn’t expected this when Junmyeon admitted to being murdered not too long ago. When he heard ‘murder,’ Jongdae assumed that a robber had attacked Junmyeon and accidentally killed the latter in a scuffle. At worst, Jongdae thought perhaps Junmyeon had been killed by a jealous lover of some sort, but then again, Baekhyun had been making him watch far too many dramas lately.

Jongdae shuffled through the rest of the papers that were in the file, pausing when he found the school newspaper for Seoul National University. Baekhyun had gone and circled one particular column, and Jongdae knew that it must be the report for Junmyeon’s death.

“’We are saddened by the untimely death of one of our spectacular music students Kim Junmyeon.’” Jongdae had to stop there as the pit of dread that had been growing in his stomach threatened to swallow him completely.

How was he going to face Junmyeon the time he entered Limbo? He wasn’t sure how he would react when he saw the other again. What would he say? What should he do?

He tilted his face towards the ceiling and leaned back in his chair, staying in that position for a while as he tried to think about how he was going to bring this subject up in front of Junmyeon tonight.

“So my friend searched you up on the Internet and the articles say you were a victim of…s-sexual…assault?” Jongdae frowned at how unsure and blunt he sounded. Normally, being honest was something he took pride in, but in this case, it would be better to have some tact.

Unfortunately, tact was something Jongdae sucked at, and he doubted he would ever be able to pull it off.

“Um, I know you must have died pretty badly…no, that already sounds awkward,” Jongdae groaned, covering his face with his hands in embarrassment, even though nobody was around to witness him talking to himself.

He ran through several more conversation starters, finding each one less satisfactory than the last. In the end, he gave up and tried to go back to drawing, except this time, his hand began to sketch out a person’s face.

Carefully marking the jawline so that the face wouldn’t be too round nor too square, Jongdae erased a few wayward lines at the chin area and redrew them. Then, he started on the hair, which was parted to the right and stopped at the ears. He made sure to give the hair an appropriate amount of volume as well as sketch in a few loose strands here and there. After he was satisfied with that, Jongdae moved on to the facial features.

However, the facial features and expression were proving to be troublesome for Jongdae. He first drew Junmyeon with a neutral expression but felt that there was something off about it. He opened a new canvas and copied the first drawing over, leaving the face blank so he could draw a new expression.

To his dismay, it didn’t help, so Jongdae tried to draw Junmyeon from different angles. There was one where Junmyeon was looking up towards his right, another where Junmyeon had a downcast expression, and many more, but they all proved to be unsatisfactory for Jongdae.

Finally fed up with his failed attempts at drawing Junmyeon, Jongdae threw his pen down and closed his laptop before jumping onto his bed and crawling beneath the blankets. He huffed, still stewing frustration over his art, and closed his eyes, deciding that a nap would be the best way to go.

Jongdae’s eyes flew open when he felt someone shaking him. Blinking rapidly until his vision cleared, the art student saw Baekhyun leaning over him, one hand still resting on Jongdae’s shoulder. Still groggy, Jongdae pushed himself up onto his elbows and checked the digital clock that was placed on the nightstand beside his bed. _6:23 pm._

“Are you hungry?” Baekhyun asked as he straightened up, “I ordered some takeout, and Chanyeol made some food for us.”

Sitting up fully this time, Jongdae realized that he was indeed hungry. “Yeah, dinner sounds nice,” he mumbled tiredly as he got out of bed and staggered towards the bathroom. “I’ll be there in a bit, just let me…” A yawn interrupted him mid-sentence, but Baekhyun seemed to have gotten the message.

Jongdae splashed some cold water on his face, waking up almost instantly to the stinging feeling of the liquid on his skin. He rubbed his face dry with a towel and headed to the kitchen. Baekhyun was already sitting at the table, stuffing a piece of kimbap into his mouth and chewing eagerly with swollen cheeks. A Tupperware filled with snow peas and hot dogs sliced into mini-octopi also sat on the table, and Jongdae plucked out a hot dog and ate it, followed by a slice of kimbap.

Baekhyun had his phone on the table and was watching an episode of a drama, so the two of them ate in silence, both too focused on the show and the food to make conversation. It wasn’t until the food was all gone and the episode was finished before Baekhyun spoke up.

“Did you…look at the articles?” he asked tentatively.

For a few seconds, Jongdae stared immobile at Baekhyun with his mouth slightly open and half-chewed kimbap threatening to spill out. Then, it all came flooding back to him. Junmyeon’s death, the assaulter’s photo, and the school newspaper. Jongdae felt guilty for forgetting, even though it was just a moment, but he swallowed it down and focused on answering Baekhyun.

“I looked at a couple of them, yeah.”

Baekhyun hummed in acknowledgment, lightly squeezing his hands together restlessly. Jongdae didn’t say anything more either, and an awkward silence settled between them. Both were searching for words but neither of them was able to find any.

It was a long while before Baekhyun spoke up again. “So what do you think?”

Jongdae chewed at his lower lip, still trying to put his thoughts into words. “I-I don’t know; it’s just…” He put his head in his hands a heaved a sigh. “I’ve always heard about rape cases from complete strangers on the Internet, but now it’s someone I know.”

Baekhyun nodded slowly. “Did Junmyeon mention any of this while you were dreaming?”

“No,” Jongdae breathed, “He only said he had been murdered. Holy shit, how am I going to bring this up with him tonight?”

“I…don’t think you should be the first to bring it up,” Baekhyun mused, “Since he purposefully didn’t say anything about this, I think he doesn’t want you to know.”

“So wait for him to talk about it first if he ever decides to talk about it?” Jongdae was unsure about Baekhyun’s suggestion. It felt like he would have to be dishonest with Junmyeon, and he didn’t want that since Junmyeon was just starting to get used to his presence.

However, Baekhyun was right to an extent. Junmyeon would probably be upset if he found out Jongdae had pried into his business, and Jongdae didn’t want Junmyeon angry with him so soon after their first meeting.

“Yeah, you don’t want him mad at you for snooping, do you? He might go berserk or something.” Baekhyun took a long sip from the can of soda that he had popped open a while back.

“Berserk?” Jongdae echoed in confusion.

Baekhyun blinked innocently and made a few vague gestures with his hands. “I mean, he’s a ghost. Don’t ghosts go crazy when they get mad or something?”

“Why are you calling him a ghost?” A tiny prick of irritation was beginning to grow in Jongdae, but he didn’t know why. Instead, he merely frowned at his roommate as he struggled to push the annoyance away.

“Because he’s dead, and you’re just visiting his spirit, aren’t you?” Now, it was Baekhyun’s turn to be confused. “Spirits are pretty much ghosts, right?”

“Well, ghosts don’t really appear in dreams, do they?” Jongdae retorted, “Besides, Junmyeon might not be like that.”

“Hey, I didn’t mean it like that,” Baekhyun quickly backtracked, seemingly realized that he had somehow managed to push Jongdae’s buttons. “Sorry if it came out that way, ‘Dae, but I really wasn’t trying to make it seem like I was trying to talk shit or something.”

Jongdae deflated as well, reminding himself that there really wasn’t a reason for him to be all riled up. “Yeah, sorry I snapped at you. Shouldn’t have done that.”

Baekhyun clasped his hands together and interlaced his fingers. “I still think you should wait for Junmyeon to bring up his death himself though. That way, he won’t feel like you’re trying to push your way into his life.”

Jongdae hummed in agreement. “I guess so. I just hope he won’t be too shocked when he sees me back in Limbo tonight.” Upon seeing Baekhyun’s questioning gaze, he added, “I kind of told him that I’d stop pestering him if he answered my questions.”

“Tell him you have more questions,” Baekhyun replied easily, and Jongdae couldn’t help but laugh.

Jongdae took a while longer to fall asleep that night, nervous about how Junmyeon would greet him when the art student appeared in Limbo again. Sure enough, Jongdae opened his eyes to see the dead man standing over him with his lips pressed into a thin line and his arms crossed over his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More details surrounding Junmyeon's death has been revealed, and Jongdae continues to try to befriend Junmyeon. Let's hope it turns out well for him.  
> I also made a moodboard for this story. Here's the link: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/712553972267801833/
> 
> 'Til next chapter!


	5. The Final Portrait

Jongdae fidgeted in his seat at the roots of a tree while Junmyeon stared him down. The man had his arms crossed over his chest and a disapproving gaze in his eyes. “I seem to remember you promising that you would stop coming here if I answered your questions.” Junmyeon pressed his lips together into a thin line, fixing Jongdae with a hard stare.

The art student plastered on his most charming smile. “I have more questions,” he repeated Baekhyun’s suggestion as sweetly as he could and watched Junmyeon raise an eyebrow.

The man seemed to be struggling with himself, but after a moment, he let out a resigned sigh and sat down at the base of another tree. With a victorious grin, Jongdae knew he had won.

“What else do you want to know?”

 _Shit._ Jongdae had forgotten to prepare a few questions. The articles about Junmyeon’s death pushed their way into his mind, but Jongdae quickly shoved them away. Now wasn’t the time to ask; he had to wait for Junmyeon to bring it up first.

The art student wracked his brains for something to say so that Junmyeon would stop boring holes into the side of his face. He picked out the first thing that came to mind, even though he knew it wasn’t actually a question.

“You know, I remember this friend I had when I was a kid,” Jongdae began, “His name was Kim Minseok, and I know he was sick a lot. I think he had to start staying in the hospital when I was four or five years old.”

He chanced a glance at Junmyeon and jumped a little when he saw the other staring at him with rapt attention. Jongdae hadn’t been expecting Junmyeon to listen so intensely, and he tried to maintain his cool by hugging his knees to his chest.

“Sometime after getting admitted, Minseok started talking about a boy who would play with him while he was sleeping. Our parents thought he was just being a kid and saying kid stuff. Even I didn’t know how strange that was. I just asked him about the boy.” Jongdae laughed dryly, running his hands through his hair. “Now that I think about it, they were probably meeting in Limbo.”

“They most likely were.” Junmyeon’s answer was sudden but not unwelcome. “What was the name of the boy?”

Jongdae gaped for a moment before forcing his mind to work. “I think it was Luhan, but I’m not completely sure. I just know it didn’t sound Korean.”

Junmyeon looked thoughtful, scratching at the dirt in front of him as he nodded gently. “That name isn’t familiar to me, but I am willing to bet that your friend – Minseok, was it? – was appearing in Luhan’s space in Limbo every night.”

“Why would he appear in Limbo though? He wasn’t dead yet.”

“Kyungsoo told me three reasons why someone alive would be traversing to Limbo.” Junmyeon raised one finger. “First, that person is a medium and is purposefully coming here to talk to the dead.” A second finger. “Second, the person is about to die.” And finally, a third finger. “Or third, the person is contemplating suicide. Since Minseok was sickly, I’m assuming that he started appearing in Limbo for the second reason. You, on the other hand…” Junmyeon eyed Jongdae like a scientist observing his specimen. “…I’m guessing you’re a medium, and that you’re coming here purposefully to bother me every night.”

Jongdae wanted to laugh, but the sound was stuck in his throat. “Actually, I’m not a medium,” he confessed, “I’m not actually trying to come here; it just happens almost every night.”

Junmyeon looked shocked, and Jongdae could tell they were thinking the same thing at that moment. Both men shifted awkwardly where they sat, and neither of them could think of anything to say. The silence only served to fuel Jongdae’s thoughts.

Neither of the remaining possible reasons was appealing, although the suicide one was just untrue for Jongdae. Not once had he thought of committing suicide, not even when he felt that he wasn’t going to be accepted to any of the universities he applied for. That left only the second reason that Junmyeon listed, and it caused a feeling of paranoia to claw at Jongdae’s gut.

“Hey,” Junmyeon called softly, yanking Jongdae from the cloud of troubling thoughts. “I’m sure you’ll be okay. Maybe…maybe Kyungsoo was wrong…or something.”

Jongdae almost pointed out that Junmyeon didn’t sound so sure, but upon seeing the subtle worried expression on Junmyeon’s face, the art student held his tongue and nodded silently, somewhat thankful that the other was trying to reassure him.

“How are you doing in school?” Junmyeon ventured after another tense pause.

“Fine,” Jongdae mumbled, “I’m getting high marks on all of my assignments, but I’m stuck on my graduation project. It’s due in a few months, but I have nothing I feel like drawing.”

“I see.” Junmyeon’s voice trailed off, and Jongdae thought he detected a hint of longing in the man’s voice. “What do you usually draw?”

“Anything I feel like. I’ve drawn birds, cats, trees, flowers, my friends and family…” He also drew Junmyeon once, but of course, he wasn’t going to tell the other. Not yet anyway.

“Did your family approve of you majoring in art?”

“My mom said I could become whatever I wanted. My dad took a bit of convincing. He wanted me to pick a more stable career.” Jongdae smiled as he remembered how he, his mother, and his brother had to all pitch in to persuade his father and the happiness he felt when his father finally relented.

This time, it was Junmyeon who led the conversation, asking Jongdae questions and listening attentively to the art student’s answers. By the time Jongdae started to fade, the thought of him dying was pushed to the back of his mind, and he barely had time to say goodbye to Junmyeon before his eyes opened to the ceiling of his dorm.

Seeing as he had woken up a few minutes early, Jongdae laid on the bed, staring off into space. There was no longer anything distracting him from his thoughts now that Junmyeon wasn’t here, so his mind was filled with various scenarios: getting in a car accident, falling down the stairs, getting attacked by someone late at night. The ideas became more and more ridiculous every time until Jongdae was finally brought out of his quiet panicking by the sound of the alarm ringing.

Jongdae let the alarm ring for a bit, still contemplating Junmyeon’s words. _Maybe Kyungsoo was wrong or something_ , he repeated to himself, trying to grab onto that shred of hope that he wasn’t nearing his death day. He rolled onto his side, shut off the alarm, and got out of bed.

As he washed his face, Jongdae couldn’t help but smile a little at how Junmyeon had tried to comfort him with hesitant questions. Despite the somewhat callous first meeting, Jongdae figured that Junmyeon was actually rather soft-hearted and most certainly did not deserve to die the way he did.

Suddenly, Jongdae stopped, overwhelmed by a sudden desire to draw Junmyeon. He groaned silently at how untimely the urge was, seeing that he had classes soon and couldn’t afford to sit down and do some drawing. He would have to wait until lunch break.

Baekhyun was already gone by the time Jongdae walked out of the dorm, so the art student walked to class alone. Jongdae’s two morning classes crawled by as he bounced one leg impatiently, eager to start drawing before the desire vanished. As soon as the professor dismissed the class, Jongdae packed his things and hurried out of the room, pulling out his phone at the same time to fire off a message to Baekhyun.

**To: Baek**

**Got the urge to draw today. I’ll join you, Chanyeol, and Jongin for lunch next week.**

**Sent 12:53 pm**

After receiving Baekhyun’s reply, Jongdae pocketed his phone, bought a sandwich from a café, and headed to the south side of campus. There was a large courtyard waiting for him when he arrived. There weren’t many people, and those who were there usually kept to themselves. It was the perfect place for Jongdae to work on his art in peace or for when he wanted to be alone in general.

Settling down at the base of the oak tree that stood in the center of the courtyard, Jongdae set down his bag and pulled out his sketchbook and pencil. He unwrapped his sandwich and took a large bite, relishing in the taste of chicken, as he picked up his pencil and poised his hand over the white sheet of paper, ready to draw.

Uncertainty flooded him like water breaking through a dam. He knew what he wanted to draw, and he was certain that he could draw it, but he suddenly forgot _how_ it should be drawn. What kind of expression should Junmyeon have? A lonely one? Jongdae tapped his chin with his pencil, eyebrows furrowed in thought.

An idea struck him, and Jongdae reached for his phone, opening up a search and typing in ‘Kim Junmyeon’ in the box. He hit enter and waited for the site to list the results, tapping his fingers erratically against his knee.

The first source Jongdae read gave him the information he was looking for. It started as a letter of mourning for Junmyeon, most likely written by a classmate or a friend, then went on to describe bits of Junmyeon’s personal life. Jongdae scanned the paragraph, picking out a few details here and there such as the fact that Junmyeon was valedictorian of his class, that Junmyeon’s family was rather wealthy, and that Junmyeon had a protective older brother. Overall, there was nothing too extraordinary about Junmyeon’s life.

The art student exhaled sharply and took another large bite of his sandwich, chewing fervently as he put his phone away and picked up his pencil again. _Screw it_ , he decided.

He started with the sides of the face, drawing two short lines that were roughly parallel to each other. Then, he extended them on the bottom, making the lines meet to form the chin. By this point, he was so focused on drawing that he forgot to chew his food, only remembering when a bit of it fell out of his mouth and onto the drawing. Nevertheless, Jongdae continued to draw after wiping the mush away with a napkin.

He gave the hair a light outline, planning to return to it afterward to give it its texture and volume. With a few quick strokes, Jongdae drew the ears, although they were messy and slightly lopsided if he looked carefully, but that wasn’t Jongdae’s focus this time around. He moved on to the face.

The nose was easiest, so Jongdae drew that first. He started on the left eye after that, giving shape to the eye with quick, solid lines. Two circular shapes, one smaller than the other, became the iris and pupil. Eyelashes were added, and Junmyeon had creased eyelids, so Jongdae made sure to add that with a couple light dashes.

Once Jongdae had drawn the right eye to match the left as best he could, he moved to the mouth. The art student drew a slightly crooked line first for the place the lips met. Careful not to curve the line too much, Jongdae made the corners of the mouth a little downturned and began shading in the lips. When he was satisfied with them, he moved on to the irises of the eyes, and finally, the hair. After he was relatively happy with those, he added shadow.

Not once did Jongdae go back and redraw anything, and he finished the sketch a few minutes before lunch ended. As the students around him began to pack their things, Jongdae held up his drawing and looked at it.

The drawing was an organized mess, but Jongdae was pleased with the chaotic sketch. It wasn’t the best, he knew that, but it was so much better than the ones that he drew yesterday afternoon. This one looked _right_.

Hurriedly closing his sketchbook, Jongdae packed it back into his bag alongside his pencil and the half-eaten sandwich. Once he knew he had everything, the art student scurried off to his next class, where his mind was occupied with art techniques and Junmyeon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, it's been almost a month since I updated this. I hit writer's block a few times, and my college finals hit me pretty hard, so I haven't written as much as I'd like lately. Regardless, I hope you find this chapter satisfactory with a bit of Suchen interaction ^^
> 
> 'Til next chapter!


	6. The Roommate

That day, Jongdae’s classes ran later than Baekhyun’s, so when the art student finally returned to the dorm, his roommate was already there, sitting on the couch and apparently waiting for him. Having spent most of his time around Baekhyun, Jongdae knew that something interesting happened that day the moment Baekhyun opened his mouth.

“’Dae, you’re not going to believe what happened during class today…”

Jongdae listened to Baekhyun blabber as he dropped his things off in his rooms. Apparently, the film for one of the cameras that the students were using had started burning, causing the camera to smoke. The issue had been taken care of easily, although the camera apparently needed replacing.

“And the professor is pretty upset with the student for leaving her camera in the sun,” Baekhyun sighed as Jongdae came back to the living room and began digging through the fridge for a quick snack.

“At least it’s not your camera,” Jongdae pointed out, setting the jar of kimchi on the kitchen counter.

“Oh, yeah,” Baekhyun murmured. Suddenly, he straightened up and looked at Jongdae. “By the way, what’s with all those drawings of that one guy on your laptop?”

Jongdae paused and turned around to face Baekhyun. “What guy?” the art student asked, genuinely confused by the sudden question. Then, he remembered all those digital sketches he had done of Junmyeon the night before. “Oh.”

“Yeah.” Baekhyun shifted around on the couch until he could face Jongdae comfortably. “Who is he?”

“It’s Junmyeon.” Jongdae felt his cheeks heat up with embarrassment, even though Baekhyun knew Jongdae sometimes liked to draw people he was familiar with.

“Junmyeon?” Baekhyun repeated incredulously, “You two have become friends?”

“Well, no, but he’s gotten friendlier since our first meeting, and I really wanted to draw him.”

A moment of silence ensued where Baekhyun didn’t say anything and Jongdae was too embarrassed to look at his roommate. The art student could feel Baekhyun’s eyes boring into the back of his head, but he busied himself with preparing food so he wouldn’t have to turn around and look at his best friend.

“Is it a good idea to be…seeing Junmyeon?”

Jongdae whipped around in surprise and met Baekhyun’s serious gaze. “What do you mean?”

Baekhyun hesitated, looking as though he was trying to formulate the right words. “It…doesn’t this seem strange to you? Seeing a dead man when you sleep? I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“I don’t exactly choose to dream of Junmyeon,” Jongdae pointed out, “Besides, he doesn’t seem like he will try to hurt me.”

Baekhyun looked like he wanted to say something else but kept his mouth shut and lowered his gaze, seemingly losing himself to his own thoughts.

Jongdae shut the refrigerator door. “I’m sure I’ll be fine,” he insisted, “But I’ll be careful when I’m in Limbo.”

The film student nodded, although he still looked unsure of Jongdae’s decision. “Well, as long as you don’t let it interfere with your schoolwork. How is your graduation project coming along?”

“I still have nothing,” Jongdae confessed, feeling frustrated as he thought of the large, empty canvas that he had gotten for his graduation project months ago.

Baekhyun opened his mouth again, but Jongdae knew what his best friend was going to say and interrupted the film student before he could get any words out. “I won’t let Junmyeon distract me from the project. I promise!”

Satisfied with Jongdae’s answer, Baekhyun dropped the subject and immediately picked up another one. “Where did you go during lunch? Poor Jonginnie had to be a third wheel for me and Yeol.”

Jongdae laughed as he imagined Jongin wearing a kicked-puppy look as he ate his own lunch while Baekhyun and Chanyeol fed each other. “I’ll text Jongin later. After I eat.”

“Right. So where did you go off to? You only told me you were going to draw.”

“Oh, I went to the courtyard at the south side of campus,” Jongdae explained as he chewed on some kimchi.

“There’s a courtyard there?” Baekhyun asked in surprise, and honestly, Jongdae couldn’t blame him. There were parts of campus that one person might never need to go to in their entire time as a student, and the southern courtyard was actually close to the engineering department of the school. Jongdae only knew about it because he stumbled upon it while taking a walk a few months ago. As far as he knew, art students rarely wandered there.

“Yeah, it’s a quiet place, so I like drawing there.”

Baekhyun made an ‘ah’ sound and nodded his head. “Did you manage to get some drawing done then?”

“I drew a portrait,” Jongdae offered, “It’s messy as hell, but I would consider it complete.”

“A portrait? Of me?” Baekhyun struck an extravagant pose on the edge of the couch, making a show of looking pretty for some invisible camera, until he lost his balance and tumbled off the furniture. Jongdae roared in laughter and choked on his mouthful of food, which sent Baekhyun into a bout of raucous chortling.

When the two finally calmed down, both of them had tears in their eyes and were breathing heavily. Jongdae remained hunched over at the kitchen table while Baekhyun was sprawled out on the floor like a starfish. Jongdae’s throat burned from the kimchi, so he eagerly drank the cup of water that he had managed to get while in his coughing fit.

“But seriously though, who did you draw?” Baekhyun asked again once he had recovered his breath.

Jongdae hesitated, not wanting to hear another lecture from Baekhyun, but in the end, he knew that he wouldn’t be able to lie to his best friend. “I searched up Junmyeon on the Internet and drew him.”

He waited with bated breath but was caught off guard when Baekhyun merely hummed and asked, “What did you find out about him?”

Jongdae forgot to answer for a moment, too surprised to formulate an answer, but he jolted out of his stupor when Baekhyun turned to give him a questioning glance.

“Well, there was nothing _extraordinary_. He was just a music student from a wealthy family who wanted to write songs,” Jongdae explained.

“Did you find out if he was homosexual?”

Jongdae almost choked on his food for the second time, not expecting Baekhyun to dive right into the personal questions.

“What, you’re not curious?” The film student defended himself as he sat up and leaned against the couch.

“Why are _you_ curious?” Jongdae retorted, voice rising in pitch with every word.

“He was found with another man. Don’t you think it’s a possibility that the man was an abusive boyfriend or something?” Baekhyun matched Jongdae’s embarrassment, raising his voice as he spoke.

“Even if he was, it’s none of our business!” Jongdae shrieked. Then, he realized that the people next door could probably hear them and quickly lowered his voice. “Whatever his sexuality is, that’s for Junmyeon to say. If he never wants to tell me, then fine, but I don’t want to snoop too much.”

“Alright.” Baekhyun willingly backed off. “Come to think of it, why do you dream of Limbo anyway? Why don’t I have dreams of a gray forest almost every night?”

Jongdae felt like he had been punched in the stomach as he remembered what Junmyeon told him. _About to die or suicidal_. The art student picked at his food, appetite gone, while Baekhyun rambled about something to the side.

“Did Junmyeon ever tell you anything about Limbo?” Baekhyun asked, bringing Jongdae out of his thoughts.

“Um, he told me that this Kyungsoo person figured some stuff out about Limbo, and–”

“That name sounds familiar,” Baekhyun interrupted, tapping at his chin thoughtfully.

“Who? Kyungsoo?”

“Yeah. I think I saw that name on the Internet or something. I don’t remember details, but my brain thinks ‘murder’ whenever I hear that name.” Baekhyun pulled out his phone and began tapping away at the screen. “I’ll look him up. What else did Junmyeon say?”

“He said that there are many souls in Limbo, but each soul is kept in their own space, so one soul could go forever without seeing anyone else, apparently.”

The film student looked extremely confused by Jongdae’s explanation. “Wait…can you explain that again using basic Korean?”

Jongdae didn’t say anything, trying to figure out how to describe the structure of Limbo to Baekhyun. “There are several smaller spaces inside a large space. The big space is Limbo. The smaller spaces are the dimensions of each soul, and they never cross into one another,” he repeated what Junmyeon told him and looked at Baekhyun expectantly, hoping that the film student understood.

Baekhyun’s lower lip jutted out in a pout as he tried to wrap his head around the explanation. “I think I get it?” he said unsurely. Then, he looked down at his phone and tapped on the screen again before getting to his feet and moving to stand beside Jongdae. “I think I found something about Kyungsoo.”

Jongdae leaned over and looked at the list of articles. “Try the first one.” He pointed at the link titled ‘Do Family Heir Found Dead in Home.’ Baekhyun pressed on the link with his thumb, and when a drop-down menu appeared, he tapped the ‘Open in new tab’ option.

As the article finished loading, Baekhyun cleared his throat and read it out loud. “’On September 17th, 1970, the body of Do Kyungsoo was discovered in the living room of his home. Upon arrival, the police found the glass table broken, and the victim had been stabbed in the heart by one of the shards from his shattered table.’” Baekhyun made a face. “Sounds like a murder to me, ‘Dae.”

“What else does it say?” Jongdae craned his neck, trying to scan the words as Baekhyun scrolled through the article.

“Uh,” Baekhyun drew out the syllable as he searched for something interesting. “Oh, here. ‘Not long after the discovery of Mr. Do, the police found another body not far from Mr. Do’s residency. The second victim was identified to be Oh Sehun…’” The film student’s voice trailed off slightly before it returned to an audible volume. “It says that the police think Sehun is the killer, but Kyungsoo fought back and wounded him enough for him to die after leaving the house.”

“Hm,” Jongdae hummed, “I wonder if this Oh Sehun is in Limbo.”

Baekhyun looked at him with an open mouth and raised eyebrow. “You want to _meet a_ _murderer_?”

“I didn’t say that!” Jongdae cried in defense, “I’m just curious about whether or not he ended up in Limbo like Junmyeon and Kyungsoo did!”

“But if you could meet him, would you?” Baekhyun turned back to his phone, swiping upwards with his thumb as he continued to scroll through the article.

“I–”

“Look, Sehun doesn’t even need his hands; he could kill you with his stare.” Baekhyun shoved his phone under Jongdae’s nose, and the art student was greeted by a picture of an expressionless man with a piercing gaze.

Impatiently, Jongdae pushed Baekhyun’s phone away. “I’m not eager to die, Baek. Like I said, I was just curious!”

Baekhyun grinned as he stowed his phone away, and Jongdae realized that his best friend had only been playing around again. An agitated whine escaped Jongdae’s mouth as he glared at Baekhyun, who merely pocketed his phone and sauntered away.

“Oh, ‘Dae, I just had a thought.” Baekhyun crawled back onto the couch, settling down on the more comfortable surface. “What if all this stuff about Limbo is from some kind of mental abnormality?”

Jongdae wrinkled his nose. “What do you mean?”

“You know how there are people out there who have their senses linked and stuff? Maybe you’re kind of like that.”

“But…” Jongdae frowned, trying to remember whether synesthesia was mental or physical. Or was it something else entirely?

“It could be because of a mental illness that hasn’t been officially discovered yet,” Baekhyun continued on, unaware of Jongdae’s plight.

Jongdae really didn’t want it to be because of a mental illness. South Korea had never been the country with the best treatment for mental disorders and diseases, and Jongdae knew that he would probably get no help and would most likely be ridiculed for being mentally ill.

After the two of them retreated to their own rooms for the night, Jongdae sat at his laptop and opened up a search engine. Apprehensively, he typed in ‘Limbo’ and hit enter, watching as the laptop laid out a page of results across the screen.

There was nothing new from the last time he looked Limbo up, so Jongdae went to edit his search. He added ‘mental illness’ to the search box and pressed the search button again. Results that weren’t present before showed up, but none of them were very comforting for the art student.

In the end, he clicked on one titled “Are you Living in Limbo?” and started reading quickly, eyes darting across each line as he desperately sought the answer that would comfort him or doom him.

He wasn’t sure what to feel when he realized the article contained absolutely no useful information whatsoever. There were paragraphs talking about living in the moment, but nothing about dreams and gray worlds, so Jongdae closed the article and looked for a new one.

To his dismay, the next article talked about how living in Limbo would result in depression, although it didn’t mention whether Limbo was _caused_ by a mental illness. Tired and frustrated, Jongdae shut down his laptop and slipped into bed, but his thoughts continued to race as he stared at the dark ceiling.

Maybe it was the exhaustion, but before he fell asleep, Jongdae thought that perhaps Limbo could be a result of a mental illness, one that made his brain conjure up Limbo. Perhaps Limbo was actually a figment of Jongdae’s imagination, one that took place in his sleep. Maybe Baekhyun was right, and that this was the result of an unrecorded mental illness. Junmyeon and the gray world may not even be real.

However, Jongdae thought Junmyeon looked very real when he opened his eyes and found himself in Limbo once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jongdae's starting to doubt his sanity now mostly thanks to Baekhyun's prompting, although Baekhyun doesn't seem to be aware of his influence on Jongdae...and how will Junmyeon react if Jongdae thinks Limbo isn't real? Well, I would like to hear what you guys think first ;)
> 
> 'Til next chapter!


	7. Beautiful Dream

“Let me guess: you have more questions,” Junmyeon said as soon as Jongdae sat up. The art student couldn’t identify the emotion in the other’s voice, but he smiled anyway.

“I told you I can’t control it!” Jongdae whined as he brushed off his hands.

When one corner of Junmyeon’s mouth twitched, Jongdae realized that the man had only been playing around. A rush of blood warmed his cheeks even before Junmyeon said, “Relax, Jongdae. I was just messing with you.”

“I knew that,” Jongdae grumbled rather petulantly. He cleared his throat in an attempt to hide his embarrassment and tried to redirect the conversation in a different direction.

“Have you ever seen someone called Oh Sehun in Limbo?”

Junmyeon frowned and shook his head. “No, the only other soul I’ve seen is Kyungsoo. Why do you ask?”

“My roommate, Baekhyun, searched Kyungsoo up on the Internet, and we found that he is suspected to have been killed by Sehun,” Jongdae explained as he dragged the tip of a fallen twig across the dirt, sketching out a cartoonish owl. “I was just wondering if Sehun is here, too.”

“Kyungsoo never talked about his death, but then again, I only saw him for a short while,” Junmyeon mused, “How did he die?”

“The article said that Kyungsoo was stabbed to death with broken glass, but he apparently fought back and hurt Sehun badly enough to kill him,” Jongdae repeated what Baekhyun told him. The tip of his tongue protruded from his mouth as he tried to draw wings for his owl.

“I see,” Junmyeon murmured as he watched Jongdae sketch the bird, “I think Sehun is probably somewhere in Limbo, too.”

“How can you tell?” Jongdae looked up from his drawing and blinked owlishly at the other.

“I’m guessing.” Junmyeon shrugged as he picked up a fallen leaf, twirling it between two fingers before letting it fall back to the ground. “Did you tell your roommate – Baekhyun, right? – everything that I’ve told you?”

Jongdae thought about it for a moment before nodding. “Yeah, pretty much everything. He was confused about the structure of Limbo.” He couldn’t help but chuckle at Baekhyun’s confused expression the first time Jongdae tried to explain it to him.

“What…did he say?”

“Nothing much. He teased me about wanting to meet Oh Sehun though,” Jongdae half-sighed, half-whined as he remembered his roommate’s sly smirk. Then, he thought of Baekhyun’s speculations about Limbo. “He also thought that Limbo was a result of some kind of mental illness, like some kind of hallucination.”

The art student was still looking down at the owl drawing, so he missed the falter in Junmyeon’s expression before the latter pressed his lips into a thin line and looked away. Jongdae finished drawing his owl, and as he dropped the twig to the ground, he realized that Junmyeon was being rather quiet. He glanced over at the man at the same time Junmyeon opened his mouth.

“Do you think I’m not real?”

Jongdae blinked at the question. “Well,” he started contemplatively, “I think you’re real.” At that, Junmyeon turned around to meet his gaze. “But people who hallucinate usually think what they’re seeing is real.”

Junmyeon’s closed-off expression didn’t change, and his hard look didn’t falter. However, Jongdae wasn’t done with his thoughts.

“But if you think about it, hallucinations occur when the person is awake. With Limbo, it’s when I’m asleep, so I feel like this is pretty real,” Jongdae finished, nodding to himself in satisfaction.

Junmyeon nodded slightly at Jongdae’s reasoning, although he looked neither pleased nor displeased by the art student’s conclusion. Jongdae observed Junmyeon carefully, slightly worried about why the latter looked so forlorn all of a sudden.

“Did I upset you?” The art student asked carefully, not wanting to offend Junmyeon.

The man glanced at him before lowering his gaze back to the ground. “No, you didn’t.”

Something told Jongdae that that was a lie.

He watched Junmyeon for a moment longer before an idea came to mind. Jongdae glanced around the forest, taking in the sight of the gray land, and pushed himself up off the ground. He dusted himself off and looked up to see Junmyeon watching him in confusion. Wordlessly and a little nervous, Jongdae gestured to the trees that stood before them and shoved his hands into his pockets. “Want to go for a walk?”

Junmyeon looked at him for so long that Jongdae was sure the man would say no, but he was mildly surprised and very pleased when Junmyeon slowly got up from where he sat on the tree root, smoothed down his clothes, and stepped a little closer, waiting for Jongdae to lead the way.

The art student started walking, and out of his peripheral vision, he saw Junmyeon follow him. There was a distance between them, but that did not stop Jongdae from intermittently glancing over to his right so he could steal glimpses of Junmyeon. The other kept his gaze focused on the ground, carefully picking his way through the trees.

“Can I call you hyung?”

Junmyeon stumbled at the same time Jongdae bit down on his bottom lip. He didn’t know what compelled him to ask that question. Jongdae had merely wanted to break the silence that was between them, and what better way was there than to ask a question. However, Junmyeon’s reaction made Jongdae wonder if he was about to get rejected.

“Um.” Junmyeon had regained his balance and was staring at Jongdae with wide eyes. “I suppose you could…but why?”

“If you don’t like it, then it’s ok,” Jongdae quickly backtracked, “I just thought that we were getting to know each other, and you’re older than me, so…” His words sounded lame to his ears, but he couldn’t stop himself. It reminded him of a snowball rolling down a hill, growing bigger and bigger with every tumble.

“You can call me hyung,” Junmyeon interrupted quietly, easily putting a stop to Jongdae’s word vomit. The art student swallowed nervously, mumbled a feeble ‘okay,’ and turned away to hide his embarrassment.

The two of them continued to walk at a leisurely pace through the gray forest, keeping a distance between them and remaining silent. Jongdae was mentally screaming at himself for his awkward bumbling earlier, missing the furtive and curious looks from Junmyeon.

In the end, it was Junmyeon who broke the silence, startling Jongdae and making him jump a foot in the air. “What is Baekhyun like?”

“He’s noisy,” Jongdae said when he got his heart rate back under control, “He’s a film major, and he’s Chanyeol’s boyfriend. Do you remember Chanyeol?”

Junmyeon put on a thoughtful expression. “The music major? Plays a hundred instruments?”

Jongdae laughed loudly at Junmyeon’s exaggeration. “That would be impressive, but he plays guitar, drums, and keyboard. He’s got enough energy to give Baekhyun a run for his money.”

“You talk quite a bit, too,” Junmyeon pointed out bluntly, but Jongdae couldn’t bother getting upset because he knew it was true.

“Yeah, I do,” the art student admitted easily, “Our dongsaeng, Jongin, calls us the beagle line because we’re all born in the same year and all three of us are pretty active.”

“What does Jongin study?”

“He’s a dance major. Dances ballet or to pop music mostly.” Jongdae ducked under a low hanging branch. “What were your friends like?”

“Well,” Junmyeon paused, eyebrows furrowed as though he was trying to remember the people he spent time with when he was alive, “they were pretty laid back, as far as I can remember, although some of them had their crazy moments.”

As Jongdae listened to Junmyeon talk about his friends, he realized just how alone Junmyeon was in his space in Limbo. The only other person Junmyeon had met was Kyungsoo, and he had to wait for a portal to spring up so he could travel to another space to do it. He wondered if Junmyeon was lonely.

“Do you ever get lonely here?”

Junmyeon didn’t look surprised at Jongdae’s question. Instead, one side of his mouth twitched upwards in a wry smile. “I don’t think I could get lonely with you around.”

The art student opened his mouth, only to close it again when he couldn’t figure out if that was a compliment or an insult. Junmyeon’s smile widened at the bewildered expression on Jongdae’s face, but he made no effort to elaborate and merely turned and kept walking.

“Wait, are you teasing me again?” Jongdae whined, picking up his pace to catch up. When Junmyeon’s smirk only grew bigger, he continued to gripe for a bit and only stopped when it became clear the other wasn’t going to say anything.

Jongdae was still pouting when the two of them found a large pond in the middle of the pine forest. He flopped to the ground unceremoniously when Junmyeon suggested they sit for a while. The art student could sense the waves of amusement flowing from Junmyeon as the man settled down as well.

The two of them sat at the bank of the motionless pond with two feet between them. Junmyeon stared across the expanse of water, while Jongdae picked up a few pebbles from where he sat and tossed them one by one into the pond, watching as the water rippled before settling back into its smooth, undisturbed state.

It was quiet between them, but Jongdae didn’t feel uncomfortable at all. Unlike Baekhyun, he didn’t have the urge to talk constantly. In fact, it was because of the silence that Jongdae could hear the soft humming that came from his right.

Jongdae listened to Junmyeon’s singing for a moment before speaking up, “What song is that?”

The humming stopped. “It was a song that I was composing before I died.”

The articles appeared in Jongdae’s mind, and he pressed his lips together as he remembered the circumstances surrounding Junmyeon’s death. He also remembered his promise to not say anything until Junmyeon brought it up himself, so he didn’t respond and merely nodded. “It’s a nice song.”

Junmyeon smiled crookedly and turned away.

As Jongdae watched Junmyeon hum quietly to himself, a thought planted itself in his head. It made Jongdae’s stomach twist inside him and squeezed at his chest. There was a light burning sensation at his eyes and his nose felt a little clogged, but he blurted out the thought anyway.

“I really want you to be real.”

Somehow, Jongdae didn’t feel nervous when Junmyeon stopped humming and turned to stare with a look of surprise. Instead, the prickling in his eyes stayed, giving Jongdae the feeling that he was about to cry, yet no tears fell and his voice remained steady. Jongdae knew he was staring intensely, but he didn’t want to look away, fearing that Junmyeon wouldn’t take him seriously and brush him off.

Then, the corners of Junmyeon’s mouth twitched, and Jongdae watched with bated breath as a shy but genuine smile settled on Junmyeon’s face. The pressure around Jongdae’s chest tightened slightly, squeezing the breath out of him. Neither of them said anything as Jongdae was tried to get his breathing under control. Junmyeon looked away first, covering his mouth with the back of his hand in embarrassment. Jongdae continued to look at the other, heart thumping wildly when he realized that for a moment, Junmyeon looked _happy_. It wasn’t the polite smile that Junmyeon put on when he greeted Jongdae, nor was it the reserved simper he wore when he teased Jongdae.

Now, the art student’s chest swelled with pride at the thought that he was the one responsible for Junmyeon’s happiness, however brief it was. Unfortunately, he could feel himself leaving Limbo and waking up in the real world, so he hurried to say goodbye to Junmyeon.

“Hyung!” Jongdae waited for Junmyeon to look at him. “I’ll see you tomorrow night?”

He didn’t hear Junmyeon’s answer because everything turned black, and when his vision returned, he found himself blinking at the nightstand that was beside his bed.

Instead of being disappointed, Jongdae leaped out of bed with a vigor that he had long forgotten and rushed to the bathroom. He splashed cold water on his face to wash away the dregs of sleep and freshened up in record time. After practically shoving his contacts onto his eyes, Jongdae sat himself down at his desk, grabbed his sketchbook and pencils, and began to sketch on a clean page.

He was still drawing when Baekhyun came into his room forty-five minutes later. The film student peeked at the sketch over Jongdae’s shoulder and immediately asked, “Is that–?”

“Yep,” Jongdae answered without looking up or even stopping his pencil. He chewed on his bottom lip lightly as he focused on getting the right texture for the hair.

He felt Baekhyun withdraw and heard him shuffle towards the door. “There’s food in the fridge if you want it. It’s in the Tupperware on the top shelf,” his roommate said before closing Jongdae’s bedroom door. The scuffing sound of Baekhyun’s feet dragging across the ground faded as the film student walked away.

It wasn’t until noon that Jongdae finally stopped sketching and leaned back to look at his work. After making a few edits here and there, Jongdae found himself very satisfied with the drawing. With one smooth motion, he tore the paper from the sketchbook. Fishing two thumbtacks from his drawer, Jongdae pinned the sketch to the wall in front him so that Junmyeon’s smiling face was easily visible.

Jongdae wanted to stay and stare at his work some more, but at that moment, his stomach let out a loud cry, reminding him that he was still starving from having skipped breakfast. Casting one last glance at the sketch, Jongdae smiled as well before stepping out of the room and shutting the door behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys. I know it's been a while since I've last updated, but I hit a major case of writer's block, and I have multiple writing projects going on right now. I don't intend to abandon this story though, so don't worry! On a completely different note, I hope the Suchen moment was satisfactory xD
> 
> 'Til next chapter!


End file.
